The two weeks leading up to Ogden were just rough. Along with some serious concerns that are too personal to share here, I was just in the middle of a bad luck streak. You know the type of week where your car gets hit, you lose your keys, you can't seem to get anything accomplished that you are trying to, you lose track of time and miss your daughter's program at school... It just went on and on leaving me thinking what else could possibly happen now? It was just the feeling of being kicked when you are already down. Sometimes life just hits you hard and this was one of those times. On top of all this it is May which means every afternoon and evening my calendar is filled with half a dozen activities and I am constantly running here and there trying to get it all done and not feeling very successful. I was feeling emotionally and physically exhausted! I was lacking the excitement that I usually feel leading up to a race. I felt it could end one of two ways; either I was not mentally ready and this would be a rough race or I had a ton of pent up frustrations to burn off and I could finally channel all this somewhere productive.
I tried to get my head in the game with visualizing the perfect race. I knew this was going to be an extremely competitive year for the half marathon with several runners that could challenge me. Everyone seemed to think Sariah Long was the favorite with good reason. She's an extremely talented runner and in excellent shape right now. I knew I would need a perfect race to have a chance at beating her but I also knew she was aiming for a 1:17 and so was I. I felt like I was capable of running that time on that course in the shape I am in as long as conditions cooperated. At least the weather forecast was looking perfect: windy on Friday, and rainy on Sunday but Saturday was supposed to be cool and partly cloudy. Finally a good day for running the Ogden Marathon. At least that's what the forecast was saying all week until Friday. Then suddenly they were saying there was a storm sticking around they hadn't expected. Light rain was now expected for Saturday morning, especially in the mountains. Not good news since we start up in Eden and run down Ogden Canyon. Light rain wouldn't be bad though. I have had some successful races in light rain and it is better than heat. I tried to stay positive, knowing I was already a bit weak on the mental side.
Saturday morning the alarm went off at 4 am. I felt exhausted with not nearly enough sleep in the two weeks leading up to the race. Jason, Andrew, and I boarded the bus (it was already starting to rain downtown) and headed to Eden. I was sleepy on the bus and wished I could fall asleep up the winding canyon but knew I would wake up motion sick if I did. It was raining fairly hard in Eden but I had come prepared with plenty of waterproof layers to keep warm before the start. When it was time to warm up I actually felt hot in all my layers. I felt tired on my warm up and hoped I would feel better once the race started. I noticed the wind would be at our back most of the way around the lake and opted to leave my long sleeve shirt in my bag since I was feeling quite warm with the wind at my back and just wear arm warmers and gloves. (Mistake #1) I was just finishing my warmup when they announced six minutes until race start. I still had to change my shoes, drop my clothing bag and fight my way through all of the runners up to the starting line so I forgot to grab my visor out of my bag to keep the rain off my face. (Mistake #2) As soon as we were started I felt my right shoe was a little loose. In my rush to get my gear on I hadn't laced up my shoe tight enough which led to a blister later in the race. (Mistake #3) The first couple miles of the race went about as I expected. The rain was coming down steadily but we turned south shortly into the first mile and the wind was at our backs. Sariah went ahead but I expected her to go out faster than me. I was sticking to my race plan this year after the lesson I learned last year. I wanted to hold back on the hills the first four miles and pick up the pace once I got to the canyon and hopefully catch her there. I was aiming for 5:55 average pace but I planned on keeping my miles over six minutes around Pineview figuring I could run 5:45s once we dropped into the canyon. Jasmine Sessions and Katie Thompson stuck with me as we headed up the biggest hill a half mile into the race. Jasmine got a few feet ahead of me at the top of the hill but stayed right there the next couple miles. I wasn't concerned. I'd wait to make up the distance in the canyon. I couldn't believe how wet the road was and now with all my sweats off I was starting to realize it was colder than I thought. As we wound around Pineview it brought back all the bad memories of last year. The conditions were so similar and I thought of the hypothermia starting to set in and Cynthia starting to pull away from me and realizing that I was losing what I wanted so badly. I was trying to stay positive but the conditions were bring so many negative thoughts into my mind.
The last mile before the dam the wind suddenly shifted. Instead of being at our backs it was coming straight up and out of the canyon. Suddenly Jasmine and the men she was running with were getting farther ahead. I told myself not to panic. I was almost to the canyon. Sariah still wasn't even too far ahead. I was off pace a little but I could still pick up the pace in the canyon and move up. I had at least saved some energy for the canyon and was ready to start working hard. I set my sights on Jasmine's group and started reeling them in. Within a mile I had caught them. I thought I might just pass Jasmine but when I caught up she picked up her pace and stayed with me. I was glad to have someone to run down the canyon with. We kept commenting to each other about how this was just as bad as last year and we so glad we were only running the half marathon this year instead of the full. The canyon was completely flooded with water. Every step was a slosh in a puddle. My feet were heavy. My hands and legs were cold. We were running into a head wind the entire way down the canyon which made the rain pelt us in the face. I was discouraged to keep seeing my mile splits over six minute miles. I wanted to pick up the pace but I just couldn't get my legs to move any faster. My thoughts became more negative as the race progressed. "I can't believe I'm doing this again. I can't believe this is as bad as last year. I hate this. There is nothing fun about this at all. I just want this to be over. All I want to do is get home." Jasmine and I kept each other going down the canyon. Finally towards the bottom we hit a steep drop off and were finally able to run that mile in 5:53. The next one was the mouth of the canyon and we were greeted by extremely strong wind gusts coming up the canyon. The wind blows so hard out of that canyon every morning and I was looking forward to the wind blowing us towards the finish but instead it was fighting us hard. This is the point where I mentally lost this race. I simply didn't care anymore. I was miserable. Sariah was gone and there was no catching her. My cold legs that didn't want to move in the canyon were hurting now. I could feel I was on the verge of hypothermia setting in again. I really can't remember the last time I just gave up in a race but I did at that point. Jasmine started to pull away and I could have gone with her but I didn't. I didn't care enough to fight the pain in my legs. I just let her go and chose to slow down a bit and hope that would ease the pain. I couldn't win the race and there was no prize money at stake. The top three in the half marathon only get gift certificates and they all get the same thing so why fight for 2nd when I felt so terrible? (Mistake #4)
I should have remembered there were some fast runners behind me and it wasn't smart to slow down but I wasn't really thinking clearly. Mile 12 was pathetically slow (6:30) and when I hit the mile marker Katie was suddenly right on my shoulder. I was surprised but it was just what I needed to get my head back in the race. I knew I had given up and it was about to cost me third place. I kicked it into another gear and realized I was actually gaining some ground on Jasmine as well. I'd let her get too far ahead though. I didn't have enough ground left to catch her. The race was for third now and it was everything I could do to hold Katie off that last stretch down Grant. I obviously had a lot more left than I wanted to admit because my last mile was under six minutes. Only the second mile of the whole race I ran on pace. I finished in 1:20:23 in third place, not a fantastic time and well off the 1:17 I was aiming for but not a terrible time considering the conditions. Shortly after I finished Andrew came across 1:21:26. He ran a terrific race! I told him to take it easy the first five miles and save it for the canyon. He ran the canyon just like I was hoping to, hitting 5:45 pace and passing a ton of runners. I joked with him that I better enjoy it because it just might be the last race I beat him in...ever! Jason came in a few minutes later. He had done the race more as a workout since he's still coming back from an injury. I didn't stick around any longer to see anything else. I skipped the food and headed straight for my bag of clothes and car to get home and shower. I was so cold I was shaking and my teeth were chattering. The only thing that saved me from ending up in the med tent with hypothermia again is the fact that I was only out there half as long this year. I was so glad that I had decided to stick with the half marathon this year. I only had a tiny bit of regret when Jason called to tell me the winner of the full marathon had finished in 2:55.
I have been fortunate to win a lot of races the last couple years against some talented runners but it's frustrating and discouraging that I can't come up with a win in my home town race. (I did win the 5k one year but I don't think that really counts since no one pays much attention to the 5k.) Sariah ran a fantastic race in terrible conditions and I was happy for her. She set a new course record but the ironic thing is that the top four women runners all broke the course record. If I had run that time any other year besides this year I would have gotten the win and the course record. And my time in last year's marathon would have won the marathon easily this year and most other years. There are only a few women that have ever broken 2:50 on that course. As I was commiserating with a friend he joked, "I always pick to wrong line a the grocery store too." It did at least put a smile on my face. It just feels like everything is against me to win this race. The last three years I have run the half or full it has been a torrential downpour. Ironically the rain cleared up Saturday by about 10 in the morning. It was like someone had just dumped a bucket over the Ogden Marathon during the race and then it was done. As much as I would like to try to conquer this course I'll most likely be sitting this one out the next couple years. I'm sure it can't rain every single year but I feel like this race has become so mentally and emotionally draining on me. I'm also hoping that the next two years I'll be at the state track meet instead cheering on my son. He just missed qualifying this year so I'm excited for his chance next year. Maybe by the time he has graduated from high school I'll be ready to give this course another try although I may be too old by then to get the win I want.
Meanwhile, this is a good time to reevaluate and set some new goals. This was a bit of a wake up call to all the little things I could do better. Being better about what I eat, getting my core strengthening done, the sleep I need and my mileage where it should be. The good thing about the half marathon is that it doesn't require nearly as much recovery. I'll give it a try again early this summer and hopefully be able to walk away feeling like I ran the race I was capable of. I've opted out of a fall marathon because of some exciting news Jason received. He has been invited by the USOC to be a physician for Team USA at the Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro! I'm looking forward to the trip of a lifetime with my family in Brazil in August and just enjoying this amazing experience rather than focusing on my training. Once we return I'm planning on jumping back into training again for the California International Marathon in December. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for some good weather.
