In the past five months since my grandma passed away it has been so hard watching my grandpa. He was already suffering from Alzheimer's but with Grandma gone he just seemed so lost. We were forced to move him to an assisted living center and he didn't like it. He just wanted to go home although I'm not sure he even knew where home was anymore. It was difficult to go visit him when he didn't know who I was anymore. It was even harder to see his condition rapidly deteriorate over the last few months. A couple weeks ago I received a call that Grandpa wasn't doing well. My parents left the next morning to come see him and we spent the weekend with him expecting him to pass away. As we watched him suffering I knew it was time for him to go. I was glad that he could be reunited with my Grandma and that he would be free from his failing body but it still didn't make it easy to say goodbye.
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| Four generation picture when Andrew was ordained a deacon. |
Grandpa passed away on Monday February 2nd surrounded by his family. I was asked to give the life sketch at the funeral. Speaking at his funeral was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Trying to do justice to 86 years of a remarkable life in twenty five minutes was hard enough not to mention trying to keep my emotions under control while I presented the talk. I spent hours preparing the talk but enjoyed learning some things about my grandfather that I didn't know about in the past. I know this post is long but for the sake of my family history I am including his life sketch.
Oliver
Donald Daines was born September 21, 1928 in Salt Lake City, the oldest child
of Oliver James Daines and Lila May Barfuss.
Grandpa had a severe case of bronchial pneumonia when he was only a
couple months old. His parents didn’t
have a car so his primary mode of transportation was the baby buggy. His family moved several times during his
early years around the Salt Lake area.
His earliest memory was of having his tonsils removed when he was only
two years old.
In 1931 the family moved to the
Logan area. Grandpa was baptized in the
Logan Temple on his 8th birthday.
One of Grandpa’s chores was to herd the cows, a mile or more, home from
the pasture at night . Grandpa said, “On
one occasion a bad thunderstorm came up and I, along with my little brother,
Weldon, huddled under large poplar trees by Mother’s old home in River
Heights. It is interesting that we would
select the most dangerous spot available in seeking protection.”
Another memory Grandpa had of
growing up in Logan occurred at Linford’s barn where his father kept the
cows. He said, “One day I decided to
weigh myself on an old pair of spring scales hanging in the barn. When I put my weight on the scales, the nail,
from which they were hanging, bent and the scales came down in my face. The result was a broken off tooth which
really hurt, but I wasn’t about to tell my parents.”
On December 14, 1937 the family
loaded everything they owned on a hay wagon and headed to Firth, Idaho where
his parents had purchased a 120 acre farm with a large brick home. At one point on the journey they were stopped
by the highway patrol who wouldn’t let them continue without a light on the
wagon. They had to leave the wagon at
the station and go to Pocatello to get a light and then go back to get the
wagon. It was an exhausting journey
especially for his younger siblings but they were all excited to get to Firth
and see their new home.
There was no electricity and the
only indoor plumbing was the kitchen sink.
Grandpa said, “Every Saturday night was bath time and the round
galvanized tub was moved into the kitchen.
Large pots of water were heated on the old coal stove, and we bathed in
descending order, according to age.
Since I was the oldest, I got clean water. I guess being the oldest does have its
advantages.”
Grandpa soon found that the schools
in Idaho were much more advanced than the schools in Utah and he was far behind
the other students. He failed the 5th
grade which was a real disappointment for him.
But when school started the next fall there was a new teacher and 5th
and 6th grade were in the same room so he sat with the 6th
grade. By the time the teacher found out
that he should have been in 5th grade it was late in the year and
she wasn’t sure what to do. After
talking to his parents they decided to let him try to make it. This was a turning point in his life and he
worked hard to become one of the top students in the his class.
Grandpa
learned the value of hard work on the farm thinning sugar beets, hoeing beets,
weeding potatoes, tromping hay on the wagons, milking and feeding cows, picking
up potatoes, and topping sugar beets.
The farm also had its hazardous moments.
Grandpa said “On one occasion, we were using 4 head of horses on a
manure spreader. I had just finished unloading,
and decided to take the spreader out of gear without stopping. I had pulled the beaters out of gear, but had
failed to get the lever lock in position.
When it slipped back into gear, it frightened the horses and I dropped
one of the reins. They began to run, and
we went through ditches and fences. I
ended up hanging over the side of the spreader, with the large wheel coming up
behind me. The horses ran into a clump
of willows and stopped. The only damage
was one bent control lever on the spreader and some scared family members.”
When Grandpa
was approaching the age of 12 he remembered his primary teacher and parents
working diligently getting him ready to graduate from primary. He said he never did complete the
requirements but they decided to graduate him anyway. He loved the scouting program and had
memorable experiences at the Teton Peaks Council scout camp. When Grandpa was 16 years old his father had
an operation and he was responsible for running the farm.
When he was first assigned as a home
teacher his senior companion was a poor example so he asked the bishop if he
could instead be partners with a his best friend. The bishop agreed and they always got their
home teaching done on time. This was
something Grandpa continued throughout his life. His son, Cliff, remembers a time in his first
year of dental school. He was busy with
school and his wife was put on bed rest while pregnant with their second child. Cliff felt overwhelmed trying to keep up with
school and all the added responsibilities at home. One day when talking to his father on the
phone, he said he didn’t know how he could possibly get his home teaching done
too. His dad told him “You get whatever
help you need from the Relief Society, but GET YOUR HOME TEACHING DONE!” It was a great teaching moment for
Cliff. His daughter, Debbie, remembers
when he would come visit her in California for several weeks at a time in the
winter. Even though he couldn’t visit
his assigned families he would still call and check on them. Even when his dementia got so advanced that
he couldn’t remember the names of those he home taught, he still visited
them. In fact, he often couldn’t
remember that he had already visited them so he would visit every week instead
of every month!
As a teenager Grandpa didn’t date
much but he enjoyed going to church dances where the orchestra would play the
Virginia Reel or Shottish and he would dance.
David, a grandson, remembers a time when he was driving with Grandpa and
asked him about his youth and dating.
David said, “He smiled, and
with a twinkle in his eyes told me about going to a dance. I was dumbfounded.
Grandpa dancing? With a girl? Really? And he actually danced the foxtrot? When
he saw my reaction, Grandpa started laughing. At that moment, Grandpa was real
to me”
In 1946 Grandpa started college at
Utah State Agricultural College (later USU).
He didn’t know much about college or even that a major was
necessary. On the first day they went to
a large room where each college gave a resume of their field. He decided Civil Engineering sounded
interesting so when they separated he went to the engineering building. Grandpa said, “While this decision seemed
rather thoughtless, it did fit my aptitude very well and was no doubt a wise
decision.” Later in life his
granddaughter Rebecca, who is also an engineer recalled, “When I was in college and went to their house, he
always asked me about dynamics. It must have been an especially
challenging course for him in graduate school, because years later, he still
remembered about trying to figure out the velocity and acceleration of a fly on
the tip of a helicopter blade. He couldn't believe I was taking dynamics
as only a sophomore, since it had been a graduate course in his day. But,
he was elated to see that the fly-on-a-propeller problem was still there in my
dynamics book! He was so
supportive of me and it never occurred to him that it was odd for a
granddaughter to study something that only men learned in his era. ”
Towards the end of his sophomore
year, Grandpa received a call to serve in the Southern States mission. When he went to the Idaho Falls Temple for
the first time to receive his endowment he said “I felt I had never been so far
removed from the world or closer to heaven than I was in the temple.” Grandpa continued to love the temple
throughout his life. When I moved back
to Utah six years ago my husband and I would often go to the temple on Tuesday
afternoons when he was off work. Tuesday
was also Grandpa’s day to attend the temple and I always enjoyed seeing him
there. A few months ago my dad and I
were walking around the newly rebuilt Ogden Temple with Grandpa. At this point he couldn’t remember much but I
asked if he remembered the old Ogden Temple and he said, “Yes! I used to go there every week.”
Grandpa spent two weeks training for
his mission in Salt Lake and then traveled by train for three days to Atlanta,
Georgia. Grandpa said, “The procedure
was slow and laborious at that time, with some 25 discussions covering nearly
all aspects of the gospel. It’s no
wonder we didn’t have many converts, we didn’t ever get around to asking them
to join the church.” Grandpa was shocked
by the racial discrimination he saw in the south having grown up in Utah and
Idaho. His daughter Debbie remembers him
telling of a time when he got on the bus and marched to the back of the bus
with his white companion and sat with the black people. He got a lot of strange looks but he just
didn’t feel it was right the way they were treated.
In the summer of 1951 Grandpa
returned home to Idaho from school and went to a stake dance. There he met Rachel Christensen. She became ill with rheumatic fever shortly
after they met but in the fall he was in a pageant written by her mother,
Lenore Christensen. Rachel was the
organist for the pageant and they began to spend more time together. Grandpa said, “By Thanksgiving time I had
decided that she was the one I should marry and I presented her an engagement
ring. She wasn’t quite sure at first,
but later she decided that she would go along with the idea.”
Upon graduating from college with a
bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering grandpa was commissioned in the Air
Force. On July 30, 1952 Grandma and
Grandpa were married in the Idaho Falls Temple.
Grandpa said, “I had such a great appreciation of the sacredness and
serenity of the temple anyway. And to
kneel across the altar from a beautiful girl whom I had learned to love was an
experience that is unexcelled.” They
honeymooned in Glacier Park and Waterton International Peace Park but as soon
as the honeymoon was over he had orders to report for active duty with the Air
Force. They set up their first home in
Riverside, Califonia but only a few weeks later were transferred to Reno,
Nevada.
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| Grandpa and Grandma on their honeymoon. |
After about six months in Reno,
Grandpa received news that he was being sent to Korea. They didn’t like it but had no choice in the
matter. Grandma went back to Shelley, ID
and Grandpa sorrowfully left for a year in Korea. Grandpa said, “This must have been the
longest year in my life.” While he was
in Korea, their first daughter, Linda, was born. She was 8 days old before Grandpa even
received the news and she was 8 months old before Grandpa could see her. In Korea, Grandpa spent his time assisting in
the construction of an airfield at the air force headquarters. He said, “On several occasions I went out
into the Korean countryside and saw poverty beyond comprehension. Their society was at least 100 years behind
ours and practically no machinery was used.
The most primitive farming methods were employed, and except for a few
oxen, all work was manual.” After 6
months in Korea he was able to travel to Tokyo, Japan for a week of R &
R. He said, “The highlight of my trip to
Tokyo, was a telephone call to Rachel.
It was short, but it was great to talk to her.” After another six months in Korea he was
finally on his way home. As anxious as
he was to get home to his wife and baby, he was stranded in Hawaii for a few
days due to weather in San Francisco.
His brother, Weldon, was stationed in Hawaii and they enjoyed a couple
days together. Upon arriving home he was
released from active duty and had a happy reunion with his wife and was able to
meet Linda. Grandpa loved his
country. One of my fond memories of
Grandpa is watching him raise his flag.
He flew a flag every day until his health prevented it.
He accepted employment with
Rocketdyne Division in Canoga Park, CA where he was responsible for all
equipment used in testing rocket engines.
They moved into their first house and welcomed their second daughter,
Deborah while in California. Grandpa
kept busy in the church serving as Sunday School Superintendent and Elder’s
Quorum president as well as helping with the electrical wiring of a new stake
center.
In 1957 they sold their house and
moved to Brigham City, Utah for Grandpa to accept a job with Thiokol Chemical
Corp. His new job in Equipment
Engineering involved designing a heavy steel case for the first 60 inch rocket
ever built. Grandma and Grandpa
purchased property to build a house and as Grandpa was called to serve in the
bishopric in a new ward, he said it was one of the busiest summer’s he ever
spent between his employment, working on the house, and his church
responsibilities.
They soon had a son, Clifford, join
the family. It was a busy summer trying
to get a yard installed. Karen, a
granddaughter still remembers the huge garden in back of the Brigham City
house. She loved to watch Grandpa flood
the garden with the irrigation water. A
few years later, another daughter, Cheryl, was born.
Through the sell of the back half of
their property they were able to buy a boat, something Grandpa had always
wanted. Boating trips led to lots of
happy memories for the family. Grandpa
was a wonderful water skier but he didn’t like to get wet. So he learned to start and finish on the
shore so he never had to get wet above his knees. Linda remembers a time when Cheryl was about
two years old and Grandpa really wanted to take her skiing with him and she
wanted to go. He put a life jacket on
her and put her on his shoulders. He
almost always slalomed but he used two skis to be more steady. They all held their breath but up they went
and then landed perfectly on the shore without Cheryl even getting wet. Linda remembered another skiing trip to Bear
Lake. It was a beautiful day and the
water was like glass. Grandma was
driving the boat and Grandpa took his turn skiing. Suddenly he decided it would be fun to put
the ski rope around his neck and ski with no hands! Grandma and Linda about had a heart attack
but he couldn’t hear them yelling at him from the boat. He made it back to shore unharmed but
received quite a tongue lashing afterwards.
He never tried it again. Many of
Cliff’s kids remember boating trip with him at Fremont Lake. His boating outfit was memorable. Not his normal plaid but a red striped shirt
and sneakers. At almost 70 years old he
got bored one day sitting and watching and decided to join the fun. He couldn’t step off anymore but he was still
able to get up on the skis.
In 1966 Thiokol was reducing numbers
and Grandpa was forced to look for work elsewhere. He took a new job at Hill Air Force Base
making design changes to aircraft parts.
He became recognized as one of the primary hydraulic system experts in
the Air Force. His changes to the hydraulic filtration of the F-4 aircraft
resulted in $500,000 annual savings for the Air Force. In 1970 the Air Force provided for him to
return to Utah State University for a year to receive a Masters degree in
Manufacturing Engineering.
In 1977 Grandpa began building a
cabin in Island Park, Idaho. It was a
summer of hard work with help from his father as well as the adult children and
in-laws. The hard work paid off in a
beautiful cabin that all of the family enjoyed for many years. Some of my happiest memories from my
childhood were at the cabin. Kimball, a
son-in-law tells of a time Grandpa was trying to back the boat into the single
car garage at the cabin. He said, “I watched him begin to back the boat
down the driveway and then frantically tried to signal him to stop. He ignored me and backed the engine
prop right through the garage door. He
was puzzled by that but didn’t let it deter him. He pulled forward a few feet, then
ignoring my screams to stop, he backed up again with increased speed. This
time he put just about the whole outboard motor through the garage door while I
watched perplexed, but with a fascinating interest. Embarrassed, he explained that he saw
me, but knew that he could complete the task without any help. He did acknowledge, however, that it
would have been good to know that the garage door was closed.” Rebecca, a granddaughter remembers trips to
Yellowstone with Grandpa and he would get so excited every time we saw an
animal. He always called them
“animules”. Rebecca said, “I never knew for sure if he was getting excited
just for the benefit of us kids or because he was really super excited to see
the "animules", too.” Cheryl’s
family was floating down the river in Island Park with Grandpa one year when
Natalie and Adrian were young. Grandpa
decided to switch positions and rocked the canoe a bit. The water was only about knee deep but
Natalie and Adrian screamed. Grandpa
continued to rock the boat and it terrified them. Natalie was sure she was going to die. They would never go with Grandpa in a canoe
again.
Grandpa was very skilled at building
things. Not only did he build the cabin
but he later built his beautiful home in Plain City. He built a Barbie house for each of his
granddaughters modeled after the cabin.
The one that belonged to my sister and I is in my basement. I recently had a repairman working in my
house who saw the doll house. He was so
impressed with it he asked where he could get one like that because his
daughter would love one! Leisa, a
granddaughter, said she remembers Grandpa always being in the middle of putting
together new bikes, and toys on birthdays and Christmas. He always had his pocket knife handy to help
open a difficult present. I remember
running around the wood deck at the cabin with bare feet and getting
slivers. I was terrified to let Grandpa
know because I knew he would pull out his pocket knife to get the sliver
out. Inevitably he would find out and
out the pocket knife would come. He was
actually very good at quickly removing the sliver. It was just the thought of
him going at my foot with his knife that scared me to death! It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to any
of us that shortly after being moved to Apple Village he was found trying to
pick the lock with his pocket knife to get out.
Many of the grandchildren recalled
the Christensen family reunion in Plain City the summer of 1995. As teenagers do, many of us got bored towards
the end and started a water fight on the hot summer day. As I mentioned before Grandpa didn’t like to
get wet. None of Grandpa’s posterity
will ever forget him running across the picnic tables to avoid getting
wet. What some don’t remember is that I
was the one who actually chased him up there.
I’m not sure I actually would have dared to get him wet but the reaction
I got from threatening him with a cup full of water was priceless. I still have a vivid image in my mind of my
grandpa in his late 60s racing across the picnic tables in the pavilion. And I think he went home dry.
Several of the grandchildren remember
that there was always ice cream when you went to visit Grandma and
Grandpa. Rebecca said, “Grandpa's portions were enormous--no 200 calorie
single scoop for him. He didn't seem to understand the concept of having
"just a taste". Ice cream was meant to be eaten as a huge
bowlful every night after dinner.” One
night shortly before Grandma passed away I was visiting and Grandpa offered me
some ice cream. I didn’t really want any
since I was watching what I was eating in preparation for a big race but I just
couldn’t say no to one last bowl of ice cream with Grandpa.
Cheryl and Neil travelled with
Grandma and Grandpa to Mazatlan. The
elevators had notations of PB for the lowest floor and PF for the highest. One elevator ride there was a Mexican
cleaning person with them and Grandpa asked what PB stands for. In broken English the guy said, “I don’t
know.” Grandpa responded “I don’t know
either!” Grandpa seemed to think
everyone should speak English. Once when
they were in Mexico together Neil, Cheryl and Grandma had been saying “Gracias”
to the waiters. Near the end of the trip
a waiter surprised Grandpa and he exclaimed, “Gracious!”
Many of the grandchildren remember
Grandpa’s smile and his cheerful personality and even a sense of humor. Cliff said that when he was about 12 they
were asked to pray for a ward member with health problems. As Cliff tells the story, “Dad asked me to say the prayer. I came to that part of
the prayer and said, "Bless Sister . . ." I couldn't remember
her name. So I sat there for several seconds trying to think of her name,
but it didn't come to me. So I said, "Bless Sister what's her
name." At that Dad began to laugh, snorting through his nose.
It took about a minute to regain composure to try again. As I began again, Dad
again began laughing, snorting through his nose. So again there was a pause
of about a minute trying to regain composure. I finally just hurried and
ended the prayer and we all laughed for a good long time. Cliff also mentioned that Grandpa
was very forgiving. No matter how warm
the disagreement was when it was over it was really over. Grandpa had a strong testimony of the gospel
of Jesus Christ and shared it often with his family. He served faithfully in many callings
including high councilor, and bishop.
Grandpa was always kind and
thoughtful of others. Ana, a granddaughter,
remembers hiking with Grandpa. She said
he never minded walking slowly with her and talking. Even towards the end of his life when we
would visit Grandpa and he didn’t remember who we were he was always concerned
that everyone was comfortable and had a seat.
He loved to see the small children.
Leisa says he always adored her daughter when she would go to visit. Just a couple weeks before Grandma passed
away I went over to help her get ready for bed.
She was upset that I had come out alone late at night because she hated
to bother me and was worried about my safety.
As I was leaving that night Grandpa looked at me and sincerely said,
“Thanks, you’re great.” It touched my
heart. He didn’t know who I was but he
appreciated that I was there to help and wanted to express it. It was touching to watch the tender way he
cared for Grandma at the end of her life in spite of his own physical and
mental limitations.
Grandpa left his family a great
legacy of hard work, faith, and love.
He will be greatly missed. We are
grateful he is free from his failing mind and body and rejoice in the atonement
of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that families are forever.
In the days after the funeral I found myself thinking of other things I forgot to include. How could I forget to mention what a great gardener Grandpa was? He was the expert I always went to when I had any questions and Grandma and Grandpa never came to visit in the summer without their arms full of fruits and vegetables he had grown for us to enjoy. I'm not sure my talk measured up at all to the wonderful man he was but when we went to the cemetery I was brought to tears by the military honors. It was truly wonderful and everything Grandpa deserved.
