So Close, Again

If the marathon were 26 miles even I would already have broken the three hour marathon.  If the marathon were 27 miles I would still need another 5 minutes and I'd probably figure it wasn't within reach.  A tidbit of information you may not care to know is that the marathon hasn't always been the same distance.  The Olympic distance used to be 24.8 miles.  (This would make me about a 2:50 marathoner)  but thanks to King Edward VII and Queen Alexandria who wanted the 1908 Olympic marathon to start at Windsor Castle and end at the Olympic Stadium so they could view the race in the comfort of their palace, the distance of 26 miles and 385 yards became the official distance of the marathon.  So thanks to them, I have become obsessed about breaking a three hour marathon.  Does it really matter?  Is 2:59:59 really any faster than 3:00:00?  No, but for some reason it sounds a whole lot faster and I won't be completely satisfied until my marathon time starts with a 2!

Saturday I ran the Utah Valley Marathon and I had one goal.  Break a 3 hour marathon.  I knew I had to have a perfect race.  This early in the year my fitness level isn't quite what it is in the fall but I felt like I picked a good course with fast runners to push me and I could do it.  My last attempt was foiled by a heat wave and this year the weather was looking almost perfect.  Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling perfect.  For two weeks before the marathon I struggled with some health issues.  It was enough to make me feel drained of energy by the time race day came.  I slept restlessly Thursday night and woke up Friday morning feeling extremely nervous.  Nerves are a normal part of racing for me and I feel like I don't race well if I'm not a little bit nervous but this was beyond the normal pre-race jitters.  I drove to Provo in the afternoon to pick up my packet and spent the evening reading and trying to calm myself down.  We spent the night at my mother-in-law's so that I wouldn't have such a long drive to catch the bus at 3:30 a.m.  I knew it was going to be a short night's sleep anyway but when I climbed into bed I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep.  The last time I looked at the clock was midnight and the alarm went off at 3 a.m.  Needless to say, I was exhausted when I boarded the bus to the marathon start!

Even though I've run several marathons it's still unnerving to me to ride the bus to the starting line.  It took a full hour to drive there. (The bus was taking the canyon pretty slow.  A few times we thought we might have to get out and push on the uphill!)  But even at a slow pace it is a long way to drive and just puts into perspective how far I really have to run!  The starting area was great with music and fires.  I found my brother-in-law who was also running and it was nice to have someone to chat with for a few minutes.  Just before dropping off my clothing bag I reached in to grab my GU and realized I had forgotten it.  One more little thing to throw me off my regular routine.  I tried not to worry about it and hoped I could grab some at an aid station.

Finally at 6 a.m. we were off and it felt so good to finally just be running and forget about everything else.  About a mile into the race I noticed a woman that had been running close to me the whole time.  I asked her what she was going for since we seemed to be running the same pace.  She told me she was trying to break 3 hours and her PR was a 3:01.  I was excited and told her I was doing the same and we should work together.  Her name was Julie and she was great to run with.  We didn't talk much since we were both working pretty hard but it was a huge help to have her there to help pace me.  The race started in Wallsburg and wound through some beautiful countryside with a gradual downhill towards Deer Creek Reservoir.  With the wet spring everything is a brilliant green and with the mountains still snow capped it was absolutely breathtaking.  At mile 7 I finally found some GU, four miles later than I was planning on taking it, but I was still feeling good and right on pace.  That's when we got to Deer Creek and the hills started.  The hills caught me a little by surprise but Julie helped pace me up them and when I crested the final hill at 10 miles I felt like I got a second wind and picked up my pace dropping into the canyon.  Unfortunately at that point Julie wasn't feeling so well and dropped back.  I hit the 10 mile mark at 1:08 which was right on pace to finish at 3 hours.  I was in 5th place at that point and hoping to hold on to my spot since they were giving prize money to the top five.  4th place was within sight and I passed her when she stopped at an aid station about mile 13.  At the half marathon I was at 1:30.  I was still on pace but I knew it was going to be close again.  If only I could just keep up the pace the second half and have a little bit of a kick left at the end I would have it.  At mile 14 Jason was waiting for me and ran the rest of the way with me.  I was so glad to have someone with me again.  He was even nice enough to carry a bottle of Poweraid for me!  Provo Canyon was gorgeous but I wasn't noticing the scenery much anymore unless Jason pointed it out.  At mile 18 I crested the final hill and my total time was 2:03.  I needed the last 8.2 miles in under 57 minutes.  It was still possible but I was starting to feel fatigue setting in after 2 hours of hard running and feeling like 8 miles was still a long way to go.  The course came out of the canyon at mile 21 and I had 5 straight flat miles to go.  Five miles is nothing.  It's not long at all, but it felt like an eternity.  I could see the tall buildings in downtown Provo where we finished but they didn't seem to be getting any closer.  I was trying so hard not to count down the miles but all I could think about is how much I had left.  With four miles left to go I hit the wall.  If you've never run a marathon you really don't know what that feels like.  I really wanted to just lay down on the side of the road and quit.  I really didn't care anymore.  Jason was trying to push me as my pace started to slow but all I could do is make myself keep putting one foot in front of the other.  One of my strengths in marathon running is that I usually pass a lot of people the last few miles when everyone else is starting to slow down.  That wasn't the case Saturday.  I was the one getting passed.  Every time I heard someone approaching I would just hope that it was a man and I wouldn't lose my fourth place.  I could see the finish line from more than a mile away but it looked like it was still so far.  I had to keep concentrating on the stop lights.  I kept telling myself I could at least make it to the next stoplight.  Somehow I finished and hung on to my place.  My finishing time was 3:02:14.  I gave it everything I had.   When I crossed the finish line one of the volunteers had to grab me to keep me from collapsing.  Honestly, it's nothing to be disappointed in.  It's my second fastest marathon by a long ways. My average mile time was 6:57.  What I needed was 6:52.  I also won the biggest cash prize I have ever won at a race.

Someday everything will be perfect and everything will fall into place the way I want it to. Sometimes working towards a goal is more important than actually achieving it.  After all, what would I have to keep trying for if I had already accomplished it?  And maybe this will just make me appreciate it even more when it actually happens.