It's Been a Long Time

Life had been getting pretty comfortable around our house.  All the kids are in school.  It's been years since I've regularly gotten up with children in the middle of the night or changed diapers.  I have been finding more time for myself and even rediscovering I have a few hobbies.  (Okay, one slightly insane and very time consuming hobby but a hobby nonetheless.)  However, there are times when I look at my kids and my heart aches missing how they were when they were little.  I don't know how I can watch Andrew pass the sacrament and be so proud and sad at the same time that he is growing up.  Christmas is one of those times that bring back so many memories of fun little toddler boys running around  thrilled about a new toy train or puzzle.  Every day I give Kaitlyn a hug and wish I could freeze her because I think kindergarten is the perfect age!  But as much as I don't like it, there is absolutely nothing I can do about time marching on and everyone getting older, including myself.

So with all these feelings we are excited and nervous to welcome a new baby to our family in June!  Six years is a long time to forget.  In a way I feel like when we were expecting Andrew and everything was new and surprising.  Six years is long enough to forget how miserable morning sickness is and how much I really hate being pregnant and not feeling like myself.  It's enough to forget the emotional roller coaster that comes along with it and Jason's perplexed looks of "how can you be crying when you were so happy just a few minutes ago?"  I've forgotten how long forty weeks can really be.  How come it seems to go so fast for everyone else?  I watch all the serious runners out working hard on their new years resolutions while I have had to accept the role of a jogger just trying to get a little exercise.  Some days I simply wonder if I am going to live to see the end of this because like I said, I'm not as young as I used to be!  Mostly I have to try to remember that in a few months when I hold my baby I won't care anymore and it will all be worth it because right now that is really hard to believe.

Keep posted because next week is my ultrasound.  Jason has been trying to convince me to not find out what this is but I really believe he doesn't have as much of a say as I do and I want to find out.